


Danganronpa Except it's mostly auto-generated and corrected

by Ommphna



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Girl Scouts, Gordon Ramsay makes a sudden cameo, Himiko and Tenko attempt to bake, Lots of cursing in the second chapter and probably the ones after that, M/M, Minor Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, My First AO3 Post, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ommphna/pseuds/Ommphna
Summary: This is a series of oneshots of the V3 kids but it's all auto stuff because I read a few fics with that concept and I fell in love with it!Try not to expect things to be taken TOO seriously lolEDIT: okay so I've decided that the one-shots are all in the same universe, meaning that this "story" has somewhat of a plot. So just think of this as crack taken seriously. So the characters will often mention things from last chapters. So nothing huge, but I wanted to change it up a bit.





	1. Shuichi just wants to buy some Shit around town and is followed and harassed by needy people

**Author's Note:**

> I really like the concept of the auto generated stuff so I decided to make a story on it! I hope you find this funny though you might not because it's hard to make jokes on the internet!
> 
> Also, this is my first fiction on Ao3. So I'm a bit new to the concept. Please no bulli I beg of you
> 
> Shuichi- Chichi  
> Kaede- Meade  
> Kokichi- Kokichi  
> Tenko-Tenko the ranging women overlord  
> Kaito-Kaito

Story prompt: "It's too warm." But I don't listen to it really at all

 

Chichi's face was covered in sweat as he walked down the sidewalk of a run-down town, to get a little girl scout cookie cutter that could make cookies in the shape of the time- a triangle. He was very excited. 

When he finished the walk to the girl scout booth, he saw a bit more followers than others. There was Meade, a local pianist that he had seen on tv with the house of representatives from the yellow pages. She looked cool. 

There was also some random dude that looked like a great idea of what with his dark purple hair with bouncy tips. For some reason he was like a cat girl with red hair though. He just meowed to say hello. 

Chichi looked away from them to get his face of the eArth with his wife, whomst he has kicked out of the house and said that she was going to be a little brother. 

The one thing that was a great day today was that the candles had experienced trauma in his house that morning. That was what made him finally exit his house after 2042 years this time.

Chichi gave the deranged girl scouts his face in exchange for the cookie cutter. They said "th a no". 

"Our." Chichi responded. His social issues had been JUST bad to him. 

Meade looked over chichi's shoulder and said, "But I don't know what happened?" Chichi jumped 1098 centimeters into the time. 

The random purple dude was standing there with his face in a car accident, looking zippy after he seen what just happened. He was pretty.

"And what is your name?" Chichi said to him, after recovering from the epic battle of a lifetime. 

"I'm Kokichi! By a!" His purple hair bounced as he jumped up and down with everything.

"Okay." Chichi said. Come to think of it, Kokichi looked pretty godly. He was old-fashioned.

All chichi wanted to do was get home and try his new book of Mormon, and cool off from the eager sun. But the two people wouldn't have it. 

Meade wanted a little more than one thing.

She wanted a great idea of what. 

"Hey! Wait! I need a great idea!" Chichi stopped, looked back at her, and he said, "What." 

Meade looked dapper at his response. All chichi could assume was that he had made the right decision. "Okay! That was funny! Thanky you!" 

Next was Kokichi. What he wanted was probably different.

It seemed as if he wanted to be a great day.

"No no no! Don't leave! You have to help me firstly!" Kokichi said massively. "I NEED you to be a bit of my life! Got it?" 

Chichi was massively confused with the cat boy. What did he just say to him? Was he extra-small? Either way, he had to help him. He didn't have a choice, or else he had to be a car. 

"Uhhhhkhshhhhh what?" Chichi said definitely.

"YOU HEARD ME SAY IT!" Kokichi started to get accurate. Chichi slowly started to get a chance.

"How do become a part of your life?" Chichi said, plausible. 

Kokichi stopped for a little while. He was going good night baby. Chichi didn't know what to do.

"Oh! Now I know! All you have to do is a little bit of my hair!" Kokichi suddenly blurted out. 

"I'm not doing any of that happening on your headache." Chichi said, deadpan. 

"BUT YOU HAVE TO OR ELSE YOU WILL BECOME A LITTLE GIRL WITH RED BULL!" Kokichi said. "No I won't you Duck hunting lard bender." Chichi said to him, still deadpan.

"BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO ME!" Kokichi was crying out loud as if it was like a cat bit him. 

But chichi didn't care.

...or did he? 

Either way, all while this was happening, Meade was being a  
Scum hugging hamster chewer to the local government area. All she wanted was a good night and a half cat girl scout. She was being disrespected. Nobody wanted to disrespect women. Or else Tenko the raging women overlord would kill them as always. 

As a matter of fact, a Wild Tenko the raging women overlord was approaching the group of friends(?). 

Chichi was still trying to decide if he wanted to do Kokichi's hair or not when suddenly a punch was landed right to his heart. 

"Ow what the fuck was that?!?!?!??!?!?" Chichi screamed. 

It had been the wild tenko the raging women overlord. She was grouchy.

"YoU sHalL nOt diSreSpECt woMeN!!!!!!" She said, expectantly. All chichi could do was gap his mouth open up and down 843 times at her.

"Wait what? All I wanted was to get this tasty emo man to do my hair even tho it's super sweat!" Kokichi said.

"ITS GOTH NOT EMO GET IT RIGHT YOU PURPLE SOUR GUMMY BEAR" Chichi screamed at at him.

"Ok" Kokichi said, unfazed.

"WeLL i sMelLed sOmE wOmEn disRespect aROuNd hErE!" The tenko the raging women overlord said. 

"Well it's not us. I just need to get the fuck out of here. But I think you might be talking about the purple pianist that you can see over to the left." Chichi said to the weird feminist.

And he was right, because to the left there was Meade, who was still being disrespected buy the local government. She looked to be in the time void. 

"OhHhhHhhH oK." Tenko the raging women overlord said. And so she stomped her rambunctious 7226 feet over to Meade, who seemed somewhat happy that she had arrived.

Then tenko the raging women overlord killed the whole local government with her bare hands and nipples.

Now it was only chichi and Kokichi, who still wanted chichi to do his hair for him, even though it was all sweaty from the blazing winter heat.

"Sooooooo, are you gonna do my hair now?"

"No."

"Man come on holy shit I'll let you eat my first story on wattpad if you do it!" Kokichi was getting desperate.

"I thought I would become a part of your life or some stupid shit like that?" Chichi said questionably.

"Oh yeah right lol I forgot about all that bro" Kokichi said.

"Hey man bro is MY word you can't say it or elSE IM TELLING MOM" Kaito screamed horribly. He was also spitting everywhere.

"Literally who are you" both chichi and Kokichi said in unison.

"Oh wow that was a little gay but no homo you know what i mean lol I gotta go broski cya" Kaito said as he rode his skateboard and took his box of hot wheels cars into the sunset, never to be be seen again. 

"Ok but what?" Chichi said.

"Well guess we're gay now so will you do my hair?" Kokichi added.

"hnnnghh okay fine." Chichi said, and started to give Kokichi dreadlocks like all the cool rappers. 

It was fun. They had fun.

 

The end.


	2. Tenko and Himiko make cake but they fuck it up somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenko is really friggin hungry and Himiko is too. They decide to make a cake. It was all supposed to go well. So the world hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Shit I haven't posted for a long time, sorry! I'm not sure if anyone was looking forward to actually keeping up with this crap, but I'm still here yo. Anyways, I'm pretty sure this chapter turned out a lot better then the last one, because I'm actually putting effort into it. So uhh, thanks for reading if you do! Hopefully I'll get more ideas and post more often in the future!
> 
> ~Character Name Guide~
> 
> Himiko- Humidor
> 
> Tenko- Tenko
> 
> Gordon Ramsay- Gordon Ramsay (Who would want to change this man's name when it's perfect already?)
> 
> Kokichi- Kokichi
> 
> Chichi- Shuichi

It was a fairly normal day where humidor and Tenko lived, they were sitting on their bumpy old couch, chilling and watching tv together. 

Tenko had stolen the tv from her dead grandmothers house instead of going to her funeral. The thing probably had 14,230 mites on it, but who cares? Because her and Humidor were poor as fuck and neither wanted to get a job. How they got the t.v? The house? Literally everything they owned? Only Atua knows. 

They were watching people getting murdered on live tv. While their neighbors would think that they need to go get some ducking help for once, they didn't. Because Tenko and her electric feminist energy could probably end the world if she really wanted to. 

While watching said tv, Humidor's stomach started to deceive the people. Turns out the woman-child was hungry. And with that, Tenko might be going to jail. never mind, her lesbian energy said no. 

"What the hell was that?" Tenko said. She had never heard such a historical sound in her life. "I'm hungry, Tenko. I need food to live." Humidor mumbled. 

Humidor's mother most likely forgot to take her to speech therapy back when she was in kindergarten, hence her mumbled ways of communication.

And Tenko might be a bad girlfriend for forgetting how her lover works. At least she still isn't a raging women overlord. Wait, she still is. Dammit. 

"Oh fuck, yeah. Let's go to the kitchen." With that, Tenko turned the tv off, and lead her girlfriend to their moldy kitchen. When they will take care of that, probably never. As long as they don't eat it, then they should be fine. Right?

Finally, after taking -4,662 steps to actually get to where she was supposed to be going, Humidor showed up. She might be stupid, but she actually has a girlfriend, so nobody can make fun of her. 

Now that Humidor was in the kitchen, Tenko could figure out what she wanted. "What do you wanna eat?"

Humidor had lots of choices. Since they make Kokichi steal a whole bunch of food for them. They make him do this by threatening to kill him, and his current and past gay lovers. 

What she wanted was something that would last, is easy to make, and is really good all at the same time. 

"Cake." 

"Huh?" Tenko said. Of course she had heard her, but she still says "huh" like an idiot. 

"I said cake, Tenko. CAKE. C-A-K-E. You're a fucking idiot, but I still love you." 

Tenko thought for -2,915 seconds. Did they have cake? Probably. Kokichi brings in a Shit load of stuff, and she puts it all away. Since Humidor is a lazy APE and won't bother to do it. They have to have it! Hopefully.

Or Humidor will cry like a little baby. Ha ha. What a wimp.

"Um, I think we have that. Let me look for you." After ripping off a total of 48,064 cabinets, Tenko manages to finally find a sole, hidden cabinet full of just cake mix boxes. Oh, Kokichi is SO getting it later. 

There were three flavors. "So, Vanilla, Gay, or Chocolate?" Oh god, Humidor has trouble making decisions, since she usually falls asleep midway. Will she need Tenko's help? Find out on the next episode of Dragon ball Z!

"I want Gay flavor. Cause you're gay. And I want to eat you, out." Damn, Humidor was making sex references. This is getting heated, boys. Or girls, or literally anybody else on the planet. I respect most other genders, just not not the ones where people identify as inanimate objects. 

Like no, I don't think you can be a lightbulb, sorry.

"Oh okay!" Tenko said, completely ignoring the obvious sex reference. That was quick. Maybe Humidor is getting better after all. Good.

So Tenko starts to gather the supplies for making a cake. Suck as a bowl, eggs, water, yada yada yada. All was going well. They might just do something productive for once.

"Hey Humidor?"

"What?"

"Could you mix the ingredients please?"

"No."

"I'll get you the baby alive that you've been wanting!"

"Okay, fine." 

And so, Humidor did something for once and started to mix the aggressive ingredients together. 

But something seemed oof.

"Why does it feel like I'm on 'Masterchief™'?" Tenko said. She remembers watching the show with Miu when she got high on shrimps for her birthday. What times. 

"What the fuck is 'Masterchief', Tenko?"

"I'm glad you asked, mortal." Turns out, Gordon Ramsay broke into their house and has been there for several minutes.

"HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?! AM I GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU WITH MY LESBIAN BEAMS, RAMSAY?" Tenko wasn't very sure if she had actual "lesbian beams" , but it sounded cool to her, so she said it.

"You shall not underestimate me, for I cannot perish in this world." Gordon said. He was sure being dusty.

"What do you mean, 'this world'? Where the hell do you actually come from?" Humidor said to Gordon.

"You see, I belong to a different reality, where humans think they have freedom, but in actuality, they are repeating the same things in order to satisfy their needs. No matter how much they deny it, they are forever trapped in a cycle of useless emotions that are slowly driving them to become mindless beings and depending on robots. You got all that?" Gordon said this in his usual British accent.

"Umm, I'm not sure that's how Gordan Ramsay talks, but fuck man are you and your people okay?" Humidor said. She was genuinely worried.

Meanwhile, Tenko didn't give two shits. This was a male she was listening to, and he broke into her house. So instead, she was being sexist and not valuing his opinion. Because who cares about males nowadays? Am I right? It's not like they're human beings too that need to be respected! Hah, hah, hah!

"So, what do you actually want from us?" Humidor said.

"I want to help you with that gay cake you're making." Gordon told Humidor.

"Oh cool! Yeah, I don't have any idea how to cook. Neither does my girlfriend, Tenko. Cause our parents never bothered to teach us how to cook. What lazy asses." 

"Humidor, why are you so invested in this guy? I thought you had never heard of him?!" Tenko, like the jealous girlfriend she is, was getting mad. 

Who's the wimp now, Tenko? Ha ha!

"Um, because this guy wants to teach us how to cook, duh! Why don't you join!" Humidor physically told Tenko.

"Ugh, fine. I'm only working with this male because I'm gay for you, Humidor." Tenko literally never stops telling Humidor that she loves her. Humidor has thought of ways to make her shut up, permanently. Too bad that hasn't happened yet though.

"Okay. So what's the first step, Ramsay. C'mon boy! Be a good doggy!" Tenko made fun of men often, it's one of the things the whole fan base knows her for. It's disappointing, but funny.

"Shut the fuck up, mortal. For I could end you any second now. Anyways. You have preheat the oven. And it looks like you bloody idiots didn't do that. Do you plan on eating cake as cold and blue as your last boyfriend's balls?"

"I'm a lesbian." Tenko said. Boy did she want to challenge this rich, middle-aged British man.

"Okay, smartass." Gordon said.

"Whats next? You're going too slow!" Humidor said. What a hypocrite.

"Oh sorry you hypocrite, I thought that I was going the perfect speed, since you and your partner's useless brains are too fucking dumb to handle anything I say." 

"Hey! Now that's just bullying!" Humidor said.

"Yeah! Don't talk to us like that you asshat!" Tenko angrily told Gordon.

"Well then why don't you two man up, and actually get your Shit together and do your goddamn job?!" Gordon might as well be screaming at these two ladies.

"HEY! THAT'S SEXIST! I WON'T LET A FILTHY MALE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" You should know who said that sentence at this point.

"The hell was sexist? I'm literally using figurative language to tell your lazy asses to do something for once! Rather than just letting you two watch people dying all day! Seriously, what the fuck is up with that?"

Okay. Gordon won the argument.

So, now that Tenko and Gordon were done fighting, they actually started to make the cake, that probably has maggots in it. It wouldn't be surprising.

After humidor heated to oven to 13,972 degrees, Gordon told Tenko to "Put some Damn oven mitts on" and to put the gay cake into the oven.

Now, they just have to sit around and wait for 62,342 minutes. Great. What were they supposed to do?

"Um, I'm bored. So I'm going to leave you two girls to take care of the cake and return to my world, which is probably a horrible idea. You guys will probably burn the whole place down. But at least the laws here basically don't exist. I mean, your world allows people to actually watch people dying on live tv. Yeah. Don't think I didn't read that first part of the story. You guys are fucked up. Anyways, see ya."

And with that, Gordon Ramsay himself left to go back to the fourth dimension.

"Yeah. Okay. So now that the Gordon guy is gone, we should cuddle." Tenko said.

"Tenko, we're baking a cake right now. And plus, where the hell are we supposed to cuddle?" Humidor said.

"Uh, the couch? Obviously?" 

"No! We could burn the house down!"

"No no! It's fine! I set a timer! See? It's oka-"

"DING DING MOTHERFUCKERS IM DONE COME AND PULL ME OUT YUM YUM!"

The timer had went off. 

"Well. The cakes done. Also, never use that alarm again, it makes me feel violated." Humidor said as she buried herself in regrets.

As Tenko was pulling the cake out, Humidor checked her phone.

"Looks like Kokichi wants to hang out."

"Tell him to fuck outta here." 

"Okay." 

And with that, Humidor hammered Kokichi with insults and then abruptly hung up on him, leaving the boy to cry to chichi on why nobody likes him, which is ridiculous, when clearly the whole fan base would sell their souls for him.

"Oh look Humidor! The cake looks great! It has rainbows and all that cool jazz!" Tenko happily said.

"Don't say 'all that cool jazz' ever again." Humidor told Tenko.

Once the couple had e gotten done icing the cake together like a happy pair of shoes, they finally cut, and then sat back on the couch.

Only to continue watching people getting murdered on live tv.

"Seriously? When does this show end?" Tenko mentioned.

"Um, I don't know? Maybe the news is broken." Humidor replied.

"Well! At least in get to watch it with you, my love!" Tenko told Humidor.

"And we have cake, which is also cool." 

 

 

Turns out, 

The cake had mould in it.

 

And when the couple thought that they were watching the news,

 

they were watching on the crime channel the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to you if you made it to the end of the story! Also, thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any comments! And to give me some kudos myself! Hopefully you have a good night, as I'm posting this at night where I am, and keep reading my dudes, it's good for you, I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you had fun reading this! I'll try to update whenever I feel like I get a funny idea. So yeah, have a good day!


End file.
